Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat, at least we hope she is because we will need her. We cannot bring home the bacon, the beef is now under the microscope and even Dustin the Turkey is afraid that if he develops a runny nose he is up for the cull.

If we can find some non-foul poultry to lay the Golden Egg, the sooner the better before we manage to turn this recession into a depression. It is amazing though with all that has happened in the last few months that it takes the threat to the fry up to make some people wake up and smell that the roses don’t smell that rosy of late. Hopefully, we will have our gammons back on the menu next week, so many Christmas menus are printed already.

I love Christmas. I did not always love Christmas. There were years that there were bereavements, tragedies and sadness, they seemed to be compounded by the fact that they occurred around Christmas time. Christmas is, in its essence, a celebration of family and we should include those deceased and departed to other shores in our party.

Those of you who remember Mulligan’s Window of Winter Wonderland, Midnight Mass at midnight, an Madra as a Mheabhair at midnight mass, when batteries had little to do with Christmas or egg production are lucky enough to have had that type of Christmas that was not hijacked by materialistic mayhem.

What would you do if the national grid ground to a standstill over the Christmas and the myriad of mechanical munitions lay idle in their boxes? Do we still have the ability to entertain each other and even indulge in real conversation? Would you be willing to turn off the lights and the telly on Christmas night and give it a try? Do you secretly keep the candles and the deck of cards to hand in the hope that a wee power cut might come?

The one thing I would ask you to do over Christmas is show the people around you that you care for them, give them that little unannounced unexpected hug in the most natural way you can, let them know you love them, put a smile on someone’s face, who is not inclined to smile. Do one of these things and you will make someone else’s Christmas. Do them all and you will make your own.

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
Deep pan, crisp and even!

An honest politician, a kindly Solicitor and Santa Claus were walking down the street and saw a 20 Yoyo note. Which one picked it up?
Santa! The other two don't exist!

A Christmas thought:
STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backward.

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month?
The letter "D”!

Not long ago and not far away Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems every where... four of the elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule....then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mum was coming to visit... This stressed Santa even more...when he went to harness the reindeer he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out heaven knows where...more stress. And then, when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards on the sleigh cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered all the toys...so, frustrated Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey...but he found that the elves had hit the drinks cabinet and there was nothing there to drink...and in his frustration he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor... he went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa fecked and blinded on his way to the door..he opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. And the angel said: Santa, where would you like to put this Christmas tree??

And that, my friend, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree...

Due to my nosey nature I was delighted to be in a situation to hear that we will have some home produced entertainment over this Christmas. One of the esteemed regular columnists (no I did not mean steamed), Noel D. Walsh, will be broadcasting for a few hours on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Stephens’ Day over the internet on Radio Ballagh. Log in at the homepage of The Ballagh Advertiser on the webpage at www.ballaghadvertiser.com. More details and fuller schedule will be available next week.

Go on you know you want to.

All we hear is Radio Ballagh
Radio Ballagh
Radio Ballagh
All we hear is Radio Ballagh
Radio Ballagh
Radio what's new?
Radio, someone still loves you!

You know you will all be singing it within